Nice conversation

This is a conversation that took place between (Y) and a marketing guy(X) 

X: Which shaving cream do you use? 

Y: Baba's 

X: Which aftershave do you use? 

Y: Baba's 

X: Which deodorant do you use? 

Y: Baba's 

X: Which toothpaste do you use? 

Y: Baba's 

X: Which shampoo do you use? 

Y: Baba's 

X: Which socks do you use? 

Y: Baba's 

X (Frustrated): Okay, tell me, what is this Baba? Is it an international company??? 

.. 

.. 

Y: No, He is my roommate 

Cheers to all the bachelors of the world!!!! 

Married people (or soon-to-get-married) can observe 2 minutes of silence to mourn the loss of this privilege.

Good One Liner

Men want 3 qualities in wives: Economist in kitchen, artist in home& devil

in bed. But they get artist in kitchen, devil in home& economist in Bed.

What is the difference between men and pigs?
Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A: A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.

Mother: So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way to marry your daughter

There is a sign in the toilet of the Sex Change Clinic. It reads "We may
never piss this way again."

Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!

Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?
A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

Boss: I'll give you 3000 per month and in three months, I'll raise it to
6000. So when would you like to start?
Santa: In 3 months.

A recent study showed that the average husband only actually speaks to his wife about thirty-seven minutes each week.
Well, yeah, I can believe that, I mean just how long does it take to say "Uh-huh" or "Yes dear" or "I'm sorry" ?

Pilot asking permission to land said, "Guess who?"
Controller switches the field lights off and replied, "Guess where!"

Dont make friend before understanding

Ice is a cream, love is a dream, 
But our friendship is evergreen. 
Dont make friend before understanding 
And Dont break friendship after understanding.

All friends r not true

Friendship is not collection of hearts 
But it is selection of hearts. 
All friends r not true. 
But true friends r very few! Like you.

Are we friends

Are we friends or Are we not?..
You told me once, but i forgot..
So tell me 'now' and tell me 'true'..
So i can say, i am here for you..
Of all the friends, i have ever met
"u' are the one i will never forget..
And if i die before u do..
I will go to heaven and wait for u..

Any vacancy for this guy?

Appointment

Peter called his doctor's office for an appointment.

"I'm sorry," said the receptionist, "we can't fit you in for at least two weeks."

"But I could be dead by then!"

"No problem. If your wife lets us know, we'll cancel the appointment. "

Patient and Nurse

Patient: Nurse, I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.

Nurse: Have you seen a doctor?

Patient: No, just spots.

Xcuse me

Girl: Xcuse me brother, that's my seat.

Boy: OK! But I'm not ur brother, my father never f#@ked ur mom.

Girl: True, but my father did ! :)

Women are always Clever

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down." 

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you...to leave."

Man: "Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
Woman: "Sorry, I don't date outside my species."

Man: "May I see you pretty soon?"
Woman: "Why? Don't you think I'm pretty now?"

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you."
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"